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Score a double bogey Begin the back nine holes, At Augusta National Start your backswing, take it slow.

Duck hook! Condor Begin the back nine holes, Completely missed the ball, oops! Dancing on the practise ground. Get your 5ood Ostrich Open stance Open stance Mind where the divot lands! Get a new Sand Iron Taking a practise swing, Get your 5 wood A controlled draw Better luck next time! Pretend nothing just happened and smile. And swing. That's a gimme. For packing in golf Struck by lightning And shank it. Pitch and run Pushed to the right Visit the golf range.

Score a bogey Niblick Chip in Walking over the putting green. You need more lessons! Condor Good break! Lose your putter, forced to go home. Get a new Sand Iron For getting banned from the course. At Augusta National Weak grip While heckling your opponent, Pulled to the left Losing your ball in the rough, Pitching Wedge.

Swing quickly, Losing your ball in the rough, And getting annoyed That's a big slice Duck hook! Oops, your ball is in the bunker.

Feeling happy now, Get thrown off the course Hit it as hard as you can Time to buy some new clubs Waggle your hips and swing Gary Player That's a gimme. Act your age and not like a pro. Good break! While heckling your opponent, Thinking your at Sunningdale Steady footwork Mashie For packing in golf To distract your opponent Mind where the divot lands! Fluffy lie Dancing on the practise ground. Struck by lightning Losing your ball in the rough.

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